If you're having to ask your clients for referrals you're probably not going to get any.
Why?
Because you're clearly not remarkable.
How do I know that?
Because if you were remarkable they'd already be talking about you.
My friend Jason Roshek is a remarkable realtor. I know, because I find myself talking about him all the time. He's never asked me for a referral, but I've probably sent a dozen people his direction over that last few years.
Think about it. By definition, something that's remarkable is worth talking about. If no one is talking about you, you're not remarkable.
So, if you want referrals, quit asking for them and start being remarkable at whatever it is you do. Trust me, it works. Just ask Jason.
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Jon Dale 
Very thinkable. I know Jason–Mom nursed me thru a difficult condo sale. Now three weeks in to my SMedia Update for Very Old Coots program. All to build book promo base for future. HMMmmmm. I guess I have a Jon-Jason goal. People (dads and granddads) sending people my way just because. Guess I’d better getting on with writing this generation fathering REMARKABLE masterpiece or there wont be nuthin to refer to.
I enjoyed your post. It made me think… I agree with your observation for the most part. But I think there are many instances where someone is very good at something, yet never is “discovered”. Susan Boyle is the most pop example of the moment. Yes, she finally had the opportunity to “be remarkable” before a huge audience, but what if that had not happened. Everyone needs a helping hand at some point in their endeavors. Talented artists throughout history have been overlooked because they have not been master marketers. Thanks for making me think.
100% agree with being remarkable and THAT being the IT factor or the primary catalyst in why someone would genuinely refer you but… I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking for a referral or a lead (in moderation). If done right it can be a great business builder.
I personally haven’t asked for a referral in years but I have plenty or remarkable clients who make the ask and see their bottom line rise up considerably as a result. It’s all about how we ask and what we ask for but we have to have something worth sharing, no doubt.
Side note… isn’t asking for referrals what we’re doing when we have a SHARE THIS or LIKE THIS button on our blogs and websites? We’re asking people to share – to refer us to their followers. Only the things we post that are remarkable (in some way) will actually get shared but we’re asking all the same.
Heidi,
Thats a really good point. And I think its our job to help those around us who are remarkable get discovered.
Jon
Daniel,
Great point. I think what were doing with RT and like buttons is making it easy for our readers to share if they want to.   Now, if I added please RT to all my tweets that would be different ;-). 
In my mind, the fundamental question of marketing is what can we do to make it as likely as possible that reader (customer, client, patient, etc.) number one leads to numbers two and three.  Being worth talking about is step one.  Being easy to share is step two. 
Jon
We’re on the same page. 🙂
Jon,
I think I disagree. Sometimes jargon is very important. The language a pilot speaks on the radio is an example. The only way he can learn that jargon is to be taught.
How does this apply? Sometimes “we” get hired for our leadership and expertise and instruction, and it is appropriate to equip our students, followers, and clients with the “jargon” they need to refer us to others.
Just my thoughts…been pondering this ever since you posted it. Great work on 48Days.net. I love following your content!
Sincerely,
Mark
Mark,
I read the post on your blog about jargon.  A really helpful post.  I completely agree.  I actually had a client call me last week to say that hed like to refer me to another client.  He asked me the best way to do that.  I think in your vernacular he was asking for the right jargon to use.   
Thanks for commenting here. 
Jon
Thanks,
Jon
CEO
Dale Interactive Group, LLC
JonDale.com
(719) 266-2620
@jondale twitter
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Awesome, Jon. Keep up the great work. Thanks for letting me be part of the conversation.